For the Birth Parents

Pregnant, but not happy about it?

Someone you know is pregnant and not happy about it?

You or someone you love is struggling to parent an infant?

If you answered "YES" to any of one of these, we encourage you to please read the following:

A birth mother and birth father are the biological or genetic parents of a child.

A birth mother and birth father can make an adoption plan so that another family may adopt their baby.

Most birth parents make an adoption plan for their newborn during the pregnancy. However, some birth parents realize later on that allowing the child they are raising to be adopted by another family would be the best decision for everyone.

A parent must look out for the well-being and future of everyone, and sometimes, adoption can open the door to a good future for the child and the birth parents.

Frequently Asked Questions by Birth Parents

What about confidentiality?
The agency respects your confidentiality and cannot disclose any information about you without your permission.

Why do people even consider adoption?
Everyone has different reasons for considering adoption based on their circumstances. Most people first think about adoption when they realize that they or their partner is having an unplanned preganancy. One or both partners usually feel like the pregnancy happened when it shouldn't have.

What would my family think about me if they knew that I was considering adoption?
Sometimes parents or family members don't understand how adoption works now. They may not understand that birth parents that work with Adoption Affiliates can select the family that will adopt their baby, and may stay in touch with that adoptive family over the years. And they may not understand that anyone who would consider adoption is trying to make the best, most responsible decision regarding their baby's, and their own, future.

You may not choose to share your decision about adoption with some of your family, but if you do, we can help you and your family understand each other and the adoption process.

What if your boyfriend or husband doesn't understand why you would consider adoption?
Boyfriends or husbands may disagree with the idea of adoption for all kinds of reasons. They may not really understand what adoption means, and they may think that because you are not able to raise their child, that you are rejecting them. If you and your partner are still together, we will work with you both so that your partner is included in the process and can share his feelings and concerns with us. If you two are not together, we will take care of contacting the birth father and completing all the necessary legal requirements.

We have lots of experience in working with both supportive and uncooperative birth fathers. And if you don't know the father of your child, or don't know how to locate him, we will help you work through all these issues. Don't give up on adoption just because you fear the reaction of the birth father. We can help you!

What about prenatal care?
If you have already started prenatal care, that's great. If not, we can help you find a doctor and make whatever arrangements are necessary for covering medical expenses. And if you need transportation to get to your medical appointments, we can help with those types of arrangements, too.

How can I find the right family for my baby?
Adoption Affiliates is very careful to study and educate our prospective adoptive families so that we can be confident that they willing and able to provide a loving, stable and secure home for the little ones entrusted to them. You do not have to find a family on your own. You request letters and pictures (profile) of adoptive families and select the couple you feel would be best for your child. You can meet with the waiting family you feel comfortable with.

What will the hospital experience be like?
The Adoption Affiliates staff will help you make a good hospital plan. We can be with you during delivery if you want, and we will prepare the hospital staff to respect your adoption decision. You can spend as much or as little time with the baby as you need. And of course, you can have newborn pictures, name your baby, and participate in the baby's care - whatever feels right to you. We will follow your wishes about whether or not the adoptive family comes to the hospital.

What about all the legal issues?
Adoption Affiliates will help you understand all the legal requirements in Oklahoma or Texas, and make sure that every aspect of the adoption is legal and ethical, so that the rights of everyone involved are protected.

Why should I choose to work with a licensed adoption agency?
Adoption is a complicated and complex process. It is very important that you choose to work with an agency that understands your emotional and personal needs, as well as the legal requirements. Licensed agencies are staffed by social workers, not attorneys, and they focus on what is best for everyone. Adoption Affiliates cares about your future, and we want you to know, in the years ahead, that your adoption decision was a good one.

How does the actual adoption take place?
Because each adoption is personalized to match your needs and the requirements of the law in your state, our counselor will explain every detail of the process to you so that you can know exactly what to expect. We want you to be completely satisfied with every aspect of this important life decision.

What about fees and expenses?
There is no charge to birth parents who choose to work with Adoption Affiliates. We provide counseling during, and after the pregnancy, for as long as necessary.

Can I communicate with my child in the future?
Most of our adoptive families are looking forward to staying in touch with birth parents in the future. Although adoptive families are not legally bound to communicate with birth families, we strongly encourage our adoptive families to stay in touch. Ongoing communication is one way to reassure adoptees that their birth parents still care about them, even though they chose adoption. When there is a mutual desire to stay in touch, Adoption Affiliates can help with this voluntary post-placement communication by sending letters, pictures and packages to birth and adoptive families who continue to want contact. Some families meet periodically with the birth family. Hearing about the changes and progress in the lives of our birth parents and adoptive families is a joy for us, and proves that adoption can bring happiness to all involved.

How will I feel about the adoption after it's over?
Most birth parents feel sadness, at first, about not being able to raise their child. But when you know that you made the adoption decision because you wanted the best for the child -- the sadness is gradually replaced by a sense of peace and self-forgiveness. Most birth parents are thrilled to hear from the adoptive family. And they realize that postponing parenting now gives them a chance to get better prepared to be a good and happy parent in the future.

How do I contact an Adoption Affiliates' counselor for more answers?
If you live in or near Oklahoma, just call 800 253-6307 and ask for Natalie. If you need to get in touch in the evening or on the weekend, try 918 269-5166.

If you live in or near Texas, or in any other state call 800 270-6757 and ask for Jan or Mary.

Email Jan at januscouve@aol.com.